Well, i was born at Lahore, on 18th May 1980.Lahore is the historical and great city of Pakistan and is also the capital of Punjab province. My birth place was old Iqbal Town on Multan Road.My father and mother belong to Chakwal city.After four years of my birth we had to move to the Rawalpindi city and then onwards we are here.
I got addmission in Al-Ghazali Special Education Centre Rawalpindi for early education and i did primary from there.Then i moved to F. G. Boys High School No. 1, Tariqabad, Rawalpindi and i did my matriculation from there. The time spent there is really precious for me. Till my school time i was, i think, a good student.i can remember that i always stood first in my class and i remained very close to my teachers there. With all that i participated in extra curricular activities on a large scale during school times.After matriculation i moved to the historical Gordon Collage Rawalpindi for Pre Engineering in intermediate, but due to some internal and external problems i found that i should change my line and so i left the collage. Then i did my inter privately from Rawalpindi and went to International Islamic University Islamabad and took addmission in LL.B. Shariah &Law and spent one and about a half years there. But again i left the university coz i was not feeling well adjustment with the subject. I did graduation then from Punjab University privately and after that i was just thinking to have a master degree in any subject and this wish was awarded when i got addmission in Quaid-e-Azam University and till now i am there, trying to complete my degree.
I got involved in some practical projects time by time but in real sence i dint pay my full attention to any of them. When i look back, i can see some nice projects but i am still waiting for the right project to be get involved in.
I consider myself very lucky when i see my friends around me.Friendship is my mission i can say. I can say that i am searching for the friends in my life. To find a good friend is my wish always.I have a lot of friends scattered here and there, but sometimes i feel that i have a very few friends who fulfil my criteria of friendship.I know these lines will not be liked by many of the people around me but its what i feel.
The time i spent in different educational institutions is really a part of my memories and specially at Islamic University Islamabad. I will always miss Islamic University. Its old campus at Faisal Masjid, Hostel 2, Kuwait Hostel, Hostel 1 and 4, everything is still in my mind. The days and nights of Hostel 2 are precious for me.Infact Islamic University has its own atmosphere which totally different from other institutions and i sometimes say to my friends that Islamic University is a part of heaven. Despite of its shortcomings and mismanagement, i am very positive about Islamic University.
During my stay at Hostel 2 of the university, i enjoyed each and everything and i learned a lot. Ifound many many nice friends there who are still with me. My room number was 21 and my room mates were 3 Malaysian students. They were very nice and kind and we spent very nice time. Iremember when they used to cook their dishes in the room, oohhhh, very different smell, and then they offer me to share with them..... i never refused but .................
Poetry is my recognition and beside other things i would like to be remembered as a man of words, poet.I started poetry in the age of nine and half i think. It was very young age to start poetry but i was much involved in reading stories, books and poetry even in that age which helped me to move forward. Like many of others, there was nothing special in my poetry in early times and i was just copying the ideas and thoughts scattered around me, but after a perioud of time when i felt the reality of a poet and his role in the society, and surely when i got closed to Iqbal, i turned my mind. I remember that i wasted many of my poetry just because they were not upto my new standard. After that i tried my best to write different and to represent the idealogy, to represent the grieves and problems of mankind, to assist all the good with my words and to fight with the evil. Iqbal surely effected me and i am thankful to ALLAH almighty who sent Iqbal for the men of words to follow him.Other then Iqbal, Faiz, Sahir, Faraz, Mohsin Naqvi, Aitibar Sajid and some others inspired me.
Friendship is one of my missions and i have got many friends in my way to life. I have my own conditions and steps or levels for friendship and i always wished to see every of my friends on the top but i think this wish remained a wish except some excepetions. I always search for friends and i think i have very nice friends with me. Its my belief that those who have good friends around them are really lucky. I am lucky or not but its a fact that my friends love me and i love them.
I have got friends all over Pakistan and my time spend at IIUI and in Jamiat really added many friends in my list. Now they are scattered everywhere. Some of them are still in contact and some are lost. Some are very busy and cant produce time to meet and contact but they are always in my mind and heart. I never deleted any of my friends from my list. But i see that with the time passing so fast and with materialism killing the feelings we are loosing the sense of feelings which will be a desaster. You know! we are nothing without feelings.
Relations to be have a check on them always otherwise they get weakened. The philosophy to RE-LOAD and RE-START them is really needed. When a page dont comes on our screen of the computer or when our computer gets some problems, we re-load and re-start it. Same action is needed to keep our relations strong. I never shyied to re-start with my relations, but i feel maybe sometimes i couldnt do so.But even then its the solution.
I remember, when i was very young, at the age of 9 i think, i was introduced with an organization of children name Bazm-e-Paigham whose slogon was "naik bano, naiki phailao" or be good and spread good. It really activated me and i was involved in that with my full energy. It was the precious time which i spent in the activities of Bazm-e-Paigham for about three years.
Then when i started my collage life i could realize the importance and duties of a Muslim and Pakistani student and i was looking for a plateform from where i could contribute my part in this regard.And so fortunately i found Islami Jamiat Talba, an organization of students with having slogon to achieve the Allah almighty's blessings in both lives by building the life of humanity in the light of the rules given by Allah almighty and His Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). I joined Jamiat and then moved to the real destination of the life. I spent a very nice time in Jamiat for about five years and at the end i became its Rukan (basic member) as well. Jamiat added to my life and personality a lot and it will remain a part of my life always. I can never ever minus its influance on my life. We used to say that "jamiat hamari maa hai" means jamiat is our mother.It is reality because Jamiat practiced the duties which should be done by our parents. It gave the aim for the life.It took some work from us for the cause of religion, humanity and well being of the society. It gave some friends which are really valuable for me. Jamiat has a very unique and different atmosphere which changes one's mind and approach and i am always thankful to Jamiat.(www.jamiat.org)
Inspite of having many friends and many people around me, i feel very lonely sometimes and i am asked the reason of this by many.To tell the truth, infact i want my friends up to the tasks i set. I want to see them in a very different shape. I want friends who can feel, who can understand who can be share with. Maybe very very different. Having very different parameters for friendship i am failed to have "friends" may be. But it is never my wish to be in such a situation and i am always looking for friends.
I like to be with my lonliness in my style. When i feel alone, i meet myself. I go out and talk to myself. My way to be with me is different as well. I go out to unknown destinations. I like to journey. Its my passion.Sometimes without any reason i go to the bus station and see any bus to any city and then sit in that and visit that city. When i see things going back from the window of the bus, it really facsinate me. I have many nights on the roads, on the footh paths, on some pulls, in parks and walking on roads just to satisfy unknown restlessness. I have saved many events and incidents in my memories during all this.
I always like to participate in extra curricular activities at any level. During my time spent at different educational institutions, i always participated in different activities. It was always my wish to participte in everything. I even participated in acting competetion. Wow ... The past ..........
Masjid Abul Qasim is one of the beautiful aspect of my life. I was invited by some of my friends to deliver Friday speach (khutba-e-juma) there. So i did but i never knew that i am going to be a part of it for always. I practiced this duty for more then two years and after leaving that i am still connected with Masjid Abul Qasim. I earned too much love from there which can not be explained. Iam like family member of many of the homes around Masjid. It was the reason that i sit there for aitikaaf for three years. There are many kids, specially many of my sweet daughters, who are connected with me. I love them more then my blood relations and they are a world for me.I can never ever minus Masjid Abul Qasim, situated at Jan Colony, Tench Bhatta, Rawalpindi, from my life.
My relation with my family members is debatable and i am faced by many debates from my friends on this topic. There are a lot of explainations which i can present but simply i would say that, yes, i am not satisfied myself on it but maybe i am not responsible.
I am having my fifth and last semester at University and im surrounded by life. There is a very big change in my life. i have experienced the most hardest time of my in last days, (Jan-Feb 2006) and after that im having a very different life. I am not the same Hamid as i was before. Time is a teacher and he taught me manythings. I am deprived of the most important things of my life, on which i was standing and moving forward towards the real destination. Now, once again, my life is not going towards the destination but its just a journey, ...... I will always be on the ways, the ways not having any destination.
I had left everything and i was gone to some other city with having the idea to not come back, but i came to know that Mr. Hamid you cant go away now. Oxygen is required to live and so im back but infact the oxygen has been snatched and now i have to fight bitterly to get that back. my life is now , atleast at the moment, like a shallow tree. I am thirsty and my thirst is getting bitter and bitter. For me, im having a new life with a new war imposed on me to fight and this time im having a different position in this war. im alone, but still i have to fight. I am ready to loose anything in this war but i cant loose this war and i will not loose in-sha-Allah.
I had the supreme desaster of my life but this gave me so many lessons. I have seen very different faces of friends and im told that i can be sold for the so called materialistic approaches and ideas. I loved and cared for everyone around me but last days told me that there is no value of love and care. The things matter are money, relation based on money, interest and casts. Meanwhile i have seen the beautiful shape of some people around me who kept my vision alive and dint break my ideas, the ideas which are based on realism. I learned that yes i was, im and i will be unfit in my surroundings. Not only surroundings but i think im unfit everywhere. im always hard on my feelings, on my ideas and on everything. and this world needs 50-50 people. Who can compromise.
All this situation brought me very near to my Allah allmighty. Oh God! this is really unexplainable. I saw the very different shape of my Allah gee and this is more sweeter, more attractive. I love my Allah gee. He gave me hope and He is with me when nobody is ready to stand with me. He never left me when those left who were the reason to live for me. Allah is more closer to me. I am ashamed on my deeds and i wish i can prove my love to Allah practically and i will be trying. but even then i believe that Allah never leaves his slaves. Oh Allah gee! I love you too much. Bring me more closer to you. dont leave me alone. Be my guide and show me the right path.